Anniversary
by TotalWeirdo666
Summary: Ted and John spend their 30th anniversary of knowing each other on a couch watching a stupid movie. Could be viewed as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, you decide. A fanfiction of the new movie "Ted".


Boston, Massachusetts

December 25, 2015

...

"Hey. John. Wake up."

The thirty-eight-year-old John Bennett was vaguely aware of a familiar voice speaking to him, but kept his eyes closed and chose to ignore it, hoping it would go away.

"C'mon, ya lazy bastard, do you know what day it is?"

"Christmas?" John mumbled.

"Well, yeah, but not just any Christmas."

John open his eyes and squinted at the stuffed bear, who stood next to the bed just inches from his face. Ted stared at him expectantly, his beady eyes shining in the dim light from the window, waiting for the human's brain to process what he was saying.

"Uhh…" John began, his mind blank.

"Thirty years ago…?" Ted prompted.

After a pause, something clicked in John's mind. "The day we met?"

"Bingo. Now get up, let's go do somethin' fun to celebrate."

"Like what?"

"I dunno. We could go to the park and scare the crap outta little kids," the teddy bear suggested.

"It's Christmas, Ted. No kids are gonna be out at the park. They're all at home playing with their presents or whatever."

"Fine then, we could stay home and watch those creepy stop-motion Christmas specials."

John groaned and sat up. "Fine. Lori, you wanna join?" he asked, turning to the woman who lay beside him.

"No, go on, honey, I'm fine…" mumbled Lori before falling back asleep.

Her husband shrugged, slipped out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats and a sweater. He then followed his lifelong best friend out into the living room and sat down on the couch. Ted hopped up next to him, grabbed the remote and turned on the TV to _A Year Without a Santa Claus_.

"This movie is so fuckin' weird," John muttered, shaking his head.

"Okay, so what I don't get," Ted said randomly, "is why Vixen's a baby. I always thought Vixen was, like, the _slut_ of Santa's reindeer. I mean, it's in her name."

"Maybe it takes place before that," suggested John. "Maybe _now_ she's the reindeer slut. I mean, it takes place in what, the fifties?"

"Hmm… Maybe," agreed Ted.

The two continued watching the movie in silence.

"Good morning, you two," came Lori's cheerful voice as she emerged from the bedroom in a bathrobe. "Enjoying your anniversary?"

"God, Lori, don't call it an 'anniversary'. That makes it sound gay," Ted protested.

"Yeah, whatever, homo," Lori laughed. "Listen, I'm gonna get dressed and head into town for some last-minute Christmas shit, alright?"

"I think it's a little late for 'last-minute'… it's Christmas day," John pointed out.

Lori shrugged. "Late Christmas shit, then." She reentered the bedroom.

When she came out, dressed and ready, Lori kissed John over the back of the couch and patted Ted on the head before heading out the door.

"Okay, have fun," called the bear moments before the door shut behind her.

Ted and John both watched their movie with glazed-over, emotionless expressions until they heard Lori's car pulling away.

"Snuggle time?" asked John without looking at his companion.

"Snuggle time," Ted confirmed. In one swift movement, Ted was on John's lap, with John's arms wrapped around him.

At some point, the frequent snuggling of one's magical teddy bear seemed to cease to be appropriate for many reasons. But through the years, the two of them had kept their close boy-bear relationship alive in private, and this "snuggle time" was as normal and casual to them as smoking pot and watching Flash Gordon together.

John pulled Ted closer to him. He closed his eyes and breathed in the bear's familiar, musty scent. Ted released a small, contented sigh.

"Just think," John said, resting his chin on the Ted's head, "thirty years ago today, I was a friendless loser and you were a lifeless teddy bear."

"We've come pretty damn far from that, haven't we?" Ted mused.

"Yeah, we have…." John slightly tightened his grip on the bear and continued watching Mrs. Claus council the Snow and Heat Misers. Ted shifted onto his side, still on top of John, and lay down in his lap.

"Hey… John?"

"Yeah, Ted?"

"… This is kinda gay, isn't it?"

John glanced down at the bear. Ted had a point. He didn't even cuddle with his own wife this way.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I guess, maybe a little… Nah, I don't think it matters, since you're a teddy bear. I mean, isn't this what you were _made_ for?"

Ted nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

After a brief pause, Ted brought his paw to his chest and pushed, setting off the old, squeaky voice box—"I love you!"

John smiled. "Love ya too, Ted."

Another brief pause.

"I really do love you, though," Ted said softly.

"I really do love you too."

And that was that.


End file.
